I'm driving and the snow begins to softly fall. My hands which usually are casually confidently relaxed find their positions at 10 and 2 and I sit up more straight in my seat.
I take a deep breath and try to relax, but the curve coming up in the road is a bit too sharp with a mountain to my left and a guard rail to my right and a sheer drop cliff on the other side of the guard rail.
I try to gently slow, and then it happens.
The tires start to slide, and I'm in a slow motion twister. I see the mountain side slide by first, and then the guard rail, and I can't remember what I learned about which way to steer the tires, into the skid but which way is that? The snow is still gently falling, mocking my panic in its calm beauty and I lift my hands entirely off the steering wheel. A tear slides down my cheek and I brace myself for the impact giving up any pretense of being in control...
and then I'm awake, safe in my bed, wondering what the symbolism might be, trying to calm my breathing and heart rate.
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The Double Meaning behind the blog title 'Dream Follower:'
First, for 14 years I was a ballroom & social dance instructor, and have studied both leading and following. I feel that learning to follow is full of nuance and is often misunderstood. I made it one of my personal goals to become a really excellent follow on the dance floor, and will probably talk a lot about the art of following - both in and out of the context of dance.
Second, I am a huge fan of author Michael Ende, probably best known for The Neverending Story. The book is incredible, and the first film captured some of the essence. (Please don't watch the other two films...I urge you to read the book though!) Anyway, at least twice in my life I have been caught in a storm of my own indecision, and my inner Moon Princess yelled to my inner Bastian...'Why don't you do what you dream?' I tear up even now as I write this little blurb. The tension between being practical, keeping my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds (at the risk of compromising my inner vibrancy, true self, and who knows what else)...and reaching for my true dreams (at the risk of losing everything) is still a very real struggle. In fact, one of those struggles lead to my 14 years of teaching dance, so we can see which voice won the battle that fateful day when I was staring at the want-ad...
And so I strive to be two kinds of Dream Followers in my life. One has to do with connecting with others, and the other has to do with connecting with my inner Moon Princess and the world of possibility that opens when I do...