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The Double Meaning behind the blog title 'Dream Follower:'
First, for 14 years I was a ballroom & social dance instructor, and have studied both leading and following. I feel that learning to follow is full of nuance and is often misunderstood. I made it one of my personal goals to become a really excellent follow on the dance floor, and will probably talk a lot about the art of following - both in and out of the context of dance.

Second, I am a huge fan of author Michael Ende, probably best known for The Neverending Story. The book is incredible, and the first film captured some of the essence. (Please don't watch the other two films...I urge you to read the book though!) Anyway, at least twice in my life I have been caught in a storm of my own indecision, and my inner Moon Princess yelled to my inner Bastian...'Why don't you do what you dream?' I tear up even now as I write this little blurb. The tension between being practical, keeping my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds (at the risk of compromising my inner vibrancy, true self, and who knows what else)...and reaching for my true dreams (at the risk of losing everything) is still a very real struggle. In fact, one of those struggles lead to my 14 years of teaching dance, so we can see which voice won the battle that fateful day when I was staring at the want-ad...

And so I strive to be two kinds of Dream Followers in my life. One has to do with connecting with others, and the other has to do with connecting with my inner Moon Princess and the world of possibility that opens when I do...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Second Sight (the walk and talk)

They fell in step with Lucas unconsciously taking the side closer to the street, thus protecting Samantha from traffic, or who knows what all.

She was hyper sensitive to the unspoken conversation, but decided to ignore that for the moment. Keeping her eyes on the ground just a few paces ahead, she took a deep breath and dove in:

"I was hoping you could shed some light on these visions I sometimes have. You are the first person I've met who seemed to know on some level what it meant, and also it sort of seemed like you knew someone else who had this...ability..." she had let the words tumble out a bit like rapid fire, a habit of talking faster when she got nervous taking over. She took a sideways glance toward Lucas and saw his aspect had become thoughtful and he looked almost like he was reminiscing.

"I have met one other person with this skill, her name was Raven and I met her about three years ago. Come to think of it, she was very matter of fact with what she saw and shared openly with every person she encountered whether they were open minded and receptive or not. It was a little awkward even going to a restaurant with her because she would read whoever she came across without hesitating. Quite a few people rolled their eyes and wrote her off as nuts. She never seemed to mind, in fact it seemed to give her a sense of freedom to say whatever she saw."

Samantha could hear in his voice how much he liked and respected this Raven lady. A tiny flame of envy flared in her heart and mind as she couldn't help but wonder the exact nature of their relationship. She nodded, and found herself wondering how far away this lady was.  Samantha didn't know whether or not she'd have the courage to go meet her knowing Raven might be able to read her, and yet the need to learn her craft to be able to interpret or control or even understand what it was had been buried until the possibility existed of answers. Now that the possibility had surfaced her need for guidance had awoken an insatiable thirst in her and she couldn't let it stay latent much longer.

"Does she live close by?"

"It's maybe a two hour drive, but I haven't seen her for about a year and a half."

Samantha hadn't realised she was holding her breath. Two hours away, someone lived ...someone who had Second Sight...someone who might be able to guide her. A wave of emotion stopped her in her tracks and Lucas walked three or four paces alone before realising she had stopped.

Lucas turned back, concern on his face. Samantha felt her color rise, and a tear slid down her right cheek. When had she started welling up, anyway? Lucas took a tentative step toward her and she tried to shake away her emotion.

"Sorry," she mumbled "I don't know where this is coming from..."

Lucas came by her side, and put his left arm around her, steering her toward a park bench.

They sat quietly, as Samantha's tears softly fell, leaving silent salt spots on her blouse.

After a while, she found her voice and he listened with his whole body, enjoying her authenticity, her smell, and finding an unexpected kinship as she described a profound loneliness with her strange visions. She described the fear the first time she saw things no one else saw. A fear of going insane, of being locked up, or having hallucinations. A fear of being strange or different, a fear of being isolated. This ability which could be a gift had also become a silent burden and a curse. He found himself drawing parrallels to his own affinity with wolves, how the blessing had also isolated him, but he didn't want to interrupt her as she shared her vulnerability. His heart went out to her, and he knew he wanted to introduce her to Raven soon. It was the first thing he told her into the long pause once he felt she had said all she intended to say, and he almost regretted it, because it brought a fresh fountain of tears, this time of gratitude.

When they stood to walk back toward the parking lot, he wanted to hug her, help comfort her, take care of her, protect her. They walked in silence side by side, and Samantha found a hopeful spring in her step she hadn't known was missing. She turned to him once they got to her car.

"I thought I was going to be able to help you!" Her eyes were wide with surprise. "I had no idea how much you would be able to help me. I didn't even know I needed help of any kind."

He grinned. "All in good time, I imagine...first things first. Let me try to contact Raven and see if I can track her down. Let's exchange phone numbers, so I can keep you posted."

Samantha fumbled in her purse for her phone, typed in his number and hit send so he would have her number too.

She looked up from underneath her lashes, feeling a little embarrassed about crying earlier.

"I'm glad we met at Moe's the other night!"

She wanted to hug him, but thrust her hand out for a handshake at the last second. He took her hand gently, no longer trembling, and pulled her closer. She held on in an awkward half handshake, half hug until they both broke away.

"So I guess I'll hear from you sometime about Raven..."

He nodded, and then turned to walk away.

She got in her car, shook her head, and glanced at herself in the rearview mirror. She had an ex-boyfriend who only ever told her how beautiful she was when she cried. At the time she resented him for saying it, but today she kind of hoped it was true, just a little bit.

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