Samantha wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, and looked again at Raven. No. She saw through Raven, as if Raven were somehow transparent. There and not there. She shook her head and squeezed her eyes again thinking perhaps she was having a tear-blurred vision problem, but when she refocused again Raven looked shimmer-y and sheer.
"Are you ok, Raven?" Samantha took a step toward her and reached out just in time to catch the iced tea glass as it slipped out of her hand.
"Lucas!" She shouted for his help-a twist of fear making her own voice sound shrill and disembodied to her own ears.
"I'm not sure, we were both laughing a minute ago and then she sort of ... faded?" Samantha was searching for the right words, as they stood up on either side of her and started walking back inside.
"She has episodes like this sometimes, let's get her lying down on the couch and see if this one passes quickly."
He sounded matter-of-fact, and calm, which helped ease Samantha's jangled nerves a bit.
"Do the episodes usually pass quickly?" She felt a pang of guilt, because asking had more to do with a sudden fear that she might one day have such episodes herself. It was impossible to ask Raven anything just now, and she hoped Lucas might know or remember a little from his time living with her.
"It depends. I can't say I know on what, but some are over in a matter of minutes, while there was one that had me worried because she was unreachable for ten hours." He shrugged. "All I try to do is make sure she's comfortable." He covered Raven with a blanket from the back of the couch, and nestled her head gently on a pillow before returning his attention to Samantha. She looked a little pale, but otherwise strong. There was still something that had changed since they arrived, but he couldn't quite sniff it out. "What were you two talking about just before she faded?"
Samantha shook herself out of her unfocused gaze and tried to find a way to summarize. She didn't want to share everything with him, she would feel almost naked if she tried. But she also couldn't shut him out completely. "We were discussing masks people wear. Um, it's kind of personal actually. But it was so helpful and thought-provoking for me. I'm afraid I have more questions now than when I started, but she told me that might happen."
Lucas nodded, and said "You never have to share more than you feel comfortable. I understand. I often wonder where she is when she goes into her episode. Is she deep inside herself, does she send her spirit walking in our physical realm somewhere, or is it a different plane of existence altogether?" His questions were obviously rhetorical, but Samantha enjoyed hearing him articulate her own thoughts almost exactly.
They locked eyes for a moment, and a shiver ran down her spine. She felt his lips on hers in a future flash of impossible but so certain fore-knowledge, and her cheeks blushed a deep red. She broke away from their gaze first, and he was left wondering what he had missed--again.
Thank you for visiting!
The Double Meaning behind the blog title 'Dream Follower:'
First, for 14 years I was a ballroom & social dance instructor, and have studied both leading and following. I feel that learning to follow is full of nuance and is often misunderstood. I made it one of my personal goals to become a really excellent follow on the dance floor, and will probably talk a lot about the art of following - both in and out of the context of dance.
Second, I am a huge fan of author Michael Ende, probably best known for The Neverending Story. The book is incredible, and the first film captured some of the essence. (Please don't watch the other two films...I urge you to read the book though!) Anyway, at least twice in my life I have been caught in a storm of my own indecision, and my inner Moon Princess yelled to my inner Bastian...'Why don't you do what you dream?' I tear up even now as I write this little blurb. The tension between being practical, keeping my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds (at the risk of compromising my inner vibrancy, true self, and who knows what else)...and reaching for my true dreams (at the risk of losing everything) is still a very real struggle. In fact, one of those struggles lead to my 14 years of teaching dance, so we can see which voice won the battle that fateful day when I was staring at the want-ad...
And so I strive to be two kinds of Dream Followers in my life. One has to do with connecting with others, and the other has to do with connecting with my inner Moon Princess and the world of possibility that opens when I do...