In Tenth grade, I started at a new school, and I will never know how they conducted the selection process for inviting kids into the program, but I very much enjoyed the Natural Helpers retreat we went on. I learned so many things about myself and about stereotyping, and how to see past conventional boundaries by being part of this group. Perhaps ironically, they had selected people from various factions to represent the concepts and ideals of the program back to that contingent. We had minority groups, as well as nerd or rocker, etc.
We bonded with each other, and learned listening skills and tools. We were learning how to recognise warning signs of suicide or harm to others, and in general it was supposed to be a peer-based support system.
We did games, trust exercises, puzzles and physical team challenges.
It was at one of the last that I discovered something in me. I want to be patient, I truly do. The group leader had explained the physical team challenge, and I remember all of us milling around, and myself also hanging back...
I was developing a theory for a solution, but also keenly aware there could be more than one approach or solution. My impatience overtook me in a moment of frustration, and I started to share my idea. My peers gathered around me, and decided my idea worthy of consideration and a trial, and it ultimately ended up working. I'm sure there were helpful suggestions as we started realising additional roadblocks along the way, but it was an environment that brought out of me a sense of leadership, a confidence in myself, and a feeling of self-worth. There were pictures of this exercise, though at the time I was oblivious to them taking pictures. I distinctly remember the feelings in those minutes, and the pictures of me explaining my idea in the circle of peers rang a proud bell for me. I remember hesitating, and thinking 'come on guys, let's just try something' and being certain that my solution would work, even though there might be a more elegant one.
I know I have leadership abilities.
perhaps I have become conservative because the risks have not been my own alone...
Perhaps you've become more conservative because you are not allowed the freedom to succeed or fail, because any triumphs you have had have been stolen from you because "my way would have been better," or because any failures you were actually allowed to see through you couldn't learn from because "I should have just done it myself." A hostile work environment is not a good place to foster confidence and leadership.
ReplyDeleteThank you for understanding. I have not felt truly empowered, honored, valued at work. It Will Change Soon.
DeleteIf you can find your way back to that, you might be able to remake your environment into one you like more...
ReplyDeleteGreat advice, and I will put some thought into manifesting that...thank you for engaging, encouraging, etc.
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