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The Double Meaning behind the blog title 'Dream Follower:'
First, for 14 years I was a ballroom & social dance instructor, and have studied both leading and following. I feel that learning to follow is full of nuance and is often misunderstood. I made it one of my personal goals to become a really excellent follow on the dance floor, and will probably talk a lot about the art of following - both in and out of the context of dance.

Second, I am a huge fan of author Michael Ende, probably best known for The Neverending Story. The book is incredible, and the first film captured some of the essence. (Please don't watch the other two films...I urge you to read the book though!) Anyway, at least twice in my life I have been caught in a storm of my own indecision, and my inner Moon Princess yelled to my inner Bastian...'Why don't you do what you dream?' I tear up even now as I write this little blurb. The tension between being practical, keeping my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds (at the risk of compromising my inner vibrancy, true self, and who knows what else)...and reaching for my true dreams (at the risk of losing everything) is still a very real struggle. In fact, one of those struggles lead to my 14 years of teaching dance, so we can see which voice won the battle that fateful day when I was staring at the want-ad...

And so I strive to be two kinds of Dream Followers in my life. One has to do with connecting with others, and the other has to do with connecting with my inner Moon Princess and the world of possibility that opens when I do...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Denzlingen

In February, I found myself in the most extraordinary house in a tiny German village called Denzlingen. I mean that in both the normal passive sense, that I literally traveled there but also in the more profound sense of finding and reconnecting to a deeper sense of self. I don't think I was lost before, exactly...but in a way I was disconnected from important aspects of my being.

Since my return, I have made a few adjustments...I am trying to be patient. It is not as easy as I'd hoped. I wish I hadn't lost my notes, but seeing the photos I took has helped a bit. I wish I had taken more pictures than I did, but I am trying also to remain connected to that self I rediscovered.

It is funny (strange not haha) how it is both comfortable and uncomfortable to slip back into the same role and same routine that was before. Comfortable only in the way that it is so familiar and we all know our lines. Uncomfortable because I have outgrown certain patterns so doing them feels awkward. Uncomfortable because there is more that is unknown.

I think I will choose to be uncomfortable for a little longer, because maybe I am still learning something valuable...

uncomfortable is not fun or relaxing...


2 comments:

  1. Uncomfortable is manageable though... as long as you recognize the source and don't turn your back on what it means.
    It is good to learn lessons, but not at the expense of losing yourself...
    And, maybe that is the lesson you are supposed to be learning right now?

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    Replies
    1. Insightful as always, Matticus.
      Something to consider carefully indeed...

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