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The Double Meaning behind the blog title 'Dream Follower:'
First, for 14 years I was a ballroom & social dance instructor, and have studied both leading and following. I feel that learning to follow is full of nuance and is often misunderstood. I made it one of my personal goals to become a really excellent follow on the dance floor, and will probably talk a lot about the art of following - both in and out of the context of dance.

Second, I am a huge fan of author Michael Ende, probably best known for The Neverending Story. The book is incredible, and the first film captured some of the essence. (Please don't watch the other two films...I urge you to read the book though!) Anyway, at least twice in my life I have been caught in a storm of my own indecision, and my inner Moon Princess yelled to my inner Bastian...'Why don't you do what you dream?' I tear up even now as I write this little blurb. The tension between being practical, keeping my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds (at the risk of compromising my inner vibrancy, true self, and who knows what else)...and reaching for my true dreams (at the risk of losing everything) is still a very real struggle. In fact, one of those struggles lead to my 14 years of teaching dance, so we can see which voice won the battle that fateful day when I was staring at the want-ad...

And so I strive to be two kinds of Dream Followers in my life. One has to do with connecting with others, and the other has to do with connecting with my inner Moon Princess and the world of possibility that opens when I do...

Friday, April 25, 2014

Why Most Men Learn to Dance

At the risk of offending someone, I am going to make up a percentage here and say that 95% of men who learn to ballroom or partner dance do it for a woman. Or maybe women, plural.

He is either trying to appeal to women in general so he can woo them or take them home or date them anyway. Or he is hoping to please, impress, or appease a particular woman.

I know it's a sweeping generalisation, but I think I'm probably right. If anything the percentage might be too low. I know there is a small and valient contingency of men who enjoy learning for its own sake or for themselves. Some artistic expressive choreographer is presently annoyed with me for making this statement.

Oh wait, they'll probably never read this anyway.

Back to my train of thought.

So the single women in the dance scene are doing the same thing, kind of. They might be open to the idea of dating, or even enjoy the flirtatious nature of the partner dance scene. Maybe some ladies are even on the prowl. On the whole, though, I would say more women are content to dance for the sake of dancing rather than as a means to an end. Since I'm making up percentages I'll say 40% of women are in it to find a man for dating/relationships/sex, and the rest are there to dance. Again, maybe someone will disagree. Or be annoyed that I'm making up statistics. But this is my post so I can do as I please.

Anyway, I have something on my mind about couples. First a message to the ladies who have a partner who is willing to learn to dance with or for you: How many years of nagging, whining, begging, hinting, complaining, etc did it take to get him to agree to take lessons or classes with you/for you?? If you can't smile, shut up and be grateful once he's here you will nag him right back out the door. Rome was not built in a day, and he already knows he's not leading you do not need to announce it to the room or your teacher or even whisper it in his ear. He gets a million boyfriend or husband points for even making it to the lesson.

Women...sometimes I just wonder how those ladies would respond to themselves. My guess is she wouldn't put up with it nearly as well as some of these long-suffering, sweet, patient boyfriend/husband types.


  1. 76% of statistics can be used to prove a point 83% of the time. Or, so I've heard.
    I fall into the group that did it for their significant other. But, you already knew that. She never nagged me though. ;-)

    1. just sounds better than 'a lot' even if I say it isn't scientific or proven.
      And you fall into the best category, because you did it on your own to surprise her. So romantic. And that was fun. Well played, sir...!

  2. I took dance lessons because it amused the hell out of me.
    Then I'd go to work in the kitchen and practice steps on the line.
    "Twinkle toes" they called me...

    Every so often, I'll grab my wife, or she'll grab me and we'll just start dancing to whatever music is playing.
    The supermarket is a favorite menu. Often in the Cereal aisle.

    1. Supermarkets do play good music for dancing. I find myself grooving down the aisle too at times. :)