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The Double Meaning behind the blog title 'Dream Follower:'
First, for 14 years I was a ballroom & social dance instructor, and have studied both leading and following. I feel that learning to follow is full of nuance and is often misunderstood. I made it one of my personal goals to become a really excellent follow on the dance floor, and will probably talk a lot about the art of following - both in and out of the context of dance.

Second, I am a huge fan of author Michael Ende, probably best known for The Neverending Story. The book is incredible, and the first film captured some of the essence. (Please don't watch the other two films...I urge you to read the book though!) Anyway, at least twice in my life I have been caught in a storm of my own indecision, and my inner Moon Princess yelled to my inner Bastian...'Why don't you do what you dream?' I tear up even now as I write this little blurb. The tension between being practical, keeping my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds (at the risk of compromising my inner vibrancy, true self, and who knows what else)...and reaching for my true dreams (at the risk of losing everything) is still a very real struggle. In fact, one of those struggles lead to my 14 years of teaching dance, so we can see which voice won the battle that fateful day when I was staring at the want-ad...

And so I strive to be two kinds of Dream Followers in my life. One has to do with connecting with others, and the other has to do with connecting with my inner Moon Princess and the world of possibility that opens when I do...

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Mondays are the 'time of my life'

I like inspirational "just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, it became a butterfly."

Transformation comes in many forms, and often is accompanied by something like a death or apparent death. I liked what my second cousin Susan said at lunch the other day when she was quoting her dad. Everything we choose means letting go of comething else. It is related to a sickness I referenced in last night's late night post, "grass is greener" or life-envy.

We cannot simultaneously enjoy the single life and married life. We cannot be both a non-parent and a parent. We cannot in this time-bound existence have it all at once. So we are potentially doomed to always be cursed with the lament "what if?"

In moments that could escape us, when we least expect it, we should see if we can catch ourselves having a 'time of our lives' or recognise that someday we could look back on even this strange stressful time as somehow blessed or charmed.

We've already done it at some point, most of us. In the time of our senior year of highschool, among prepping for exams, writing entrance essays for college applications or fighting with a parent or a sibling but five years later when we graduate college with no clear direction to point ourselves in (just me? Ok, fine you can think of another example) we find ourselves at odds and loose ends missing the dreaded fifth period that today no longer means AP Math torture.

So today, in the middle of my week of Mondays, I will try to savor the stress and know that I am having a 'time of my life' right now.


  1. Ha! Savor the fact that come the weekend, you'll have overcome the stress and be out enjoying yourself.
    There are some things I didn't - or couldn't - do that I wonder "what if" about sometimes.
    But with being (too) flippant, in the end, I got my girl. Everything else is noise.

    1. :)
      Maybe I'll obsess over fewer things if and when I find that partner in crime/life. Or maybe I'll just obsess about *different* things, and it will be one of the things he loves about me...

  2. I have never missed High School!!
    Or, college, really. The stresses and pressures of the real world, the working world, the adult life, are so much easier than anything I experienced in school.

    1. This deserves a long answer, but maybe also I have questions...
      I know that the 'grass is greener' rosy-tinted 20/20 hindsight view of HS is unrealistic, just as much as the 'this part sucks' view of today is also unrealistic. The gist of my point is probably that I need a little of the rosy-tinted view right now...but of course I can tell some vivid stories of HS things I hated.

      Same with college. Particularly junior year.

      I will try to write tonight or tomorrow a little of both--the things I don't miss At All, and the things I do.

      But I'm curious if there is something else that is a better example (not school) from your past that you would also be able to express both views about. Challenge accepted?

    2. Easy - piano lessons.
      I hated having to go, having to practice, stressing over recitals, performing in front of peers and family and total strangers. But, I loved knowing how to play, and now I'm sad that I can't sit down at a piano and just play like I used to. I can still read treble, and my hand will mostly follow along like it is supposed to if I have sheet music. But my left hand (bass) is completely useless.
      Or... did I misinterpret what you were actually asking for?

    3. That's a great example...I think you interpreted me quite well. :)
      Seems like all the best things in life are love/hate in varying measures with pros and cons...